Even though my upbringing has been entirely Asian, my thoughts and actions are usually a cross between the East and the West due to my work and exposure to Western culture and business. There are Asian values which I consider important and should be retained but others which I consider archaic practices.
One of those archaic practices is a marriage of convenience, particularly on the basis of money, business and power. No love involved. Back in the days when I was still young and idealistic, I had thought that marriage of convenience no longer existed in these modern times. But I was wrong.
It is still the practice, especially among the top echelons of some Asian societies. A little less cut and dried then previously when after one or two meetings, the engagement follows and shortly afterwards, marriage. Now, social events, by invitation only, would be planned for elite sons and daughters. These were opportunities to size up the who’s who and whether there is someone who meets the eye…so one level up then previously. But still confining themselves to inter-marriages within their class.
In KBS drama “My Golden Life” we saw a marriage of convenience between mother and father Choi. The Chois only had daughters, so they needed sons. Choi Dokyung’s father did not come from the rich elite but he was handpicked as suitable based on the requisite qualities and more importantly, he was willing to marry into the Roh family, rather than the woman into the man’s family. In a way, he will become a son but with all power still held by his wife and her father. A marriage of convenience in a loveless and cold marriage.
Even Choi Dokyung, who is educated in liberal US of A, accepted this practice. His marriage counter-party has been identified, with both families scrutinising each other for suitability focusing on business benefits, power and no scandal rather than love. In fact, he has not even met his so called wife-to-be! Okay, the childhood playmate don’t quite count! Sad that this man would be like his parents, entering into a loveless, cold marriage. And we know he is anything but cold! Poor oppa!
Luckily, he woke up just in time! No way would our Oppa accept a loveless marriage and so he told his shocked parents in Episode 28 of “My Golden Life”!
Good for you, Oppa! Stand up for what you want in life and for your love! Fighting!
KBS Drama Youtube Video – Episode 24 My Golden Life “I don’t want a loveless marriage”
“我黄金光辉的人生”:政治婚姻
虽然我的成长完全是在亚洲,但由于工作和受到西方文化的影响,我的思想和作风通常是东西方的交叉。作为亚洲人要有亚洲的价值观,但,不是所有的亚洲价值观和作风都要保留,有些已经是过时了,可以免了。
其中一个古老的作风是政治婚姻,特别是为了财富,商业和权利, 没有爱情涉及。那时年轻和理想主义的我,以为在现代不再存在政治婚姻。但我错了!
这作风还存在,特别是在一些亚洲顶级阶层社会里。先前的做法是双方见面一两次,接着就订婚,然后不久之后就结婚。现在,流行的是社交活动,但唯有被邀请才能参加。这些活动是给精英儿女机会交流,大家互相观察,看是否有看得顺眼的对象可以进一步谈婚姻,所以婚姻还限制在他们班级内的的圈子。
在KBS电视剧“我黄金光辉的人生”中,看到了崔父母的政治婚姻。崔家只有女儿,所以需要儿子。崔道京的父亲不是来自富有的人家,而是根据所需求的素质选择出来的,更重要的是,他愿意“嫁”入卢氏家族。在某种程度上,他成为了卢家的儿子,但所有权力仍然由他的妻子和她的父亲持有。政治婚姻可以是一个无情和冷淡的婚姻。
即使是在自由美国受过高等教育的崔道京也接受政治婚姻的作风。他的婚姻配偶已经确定了,两家人正互相观察,专注于商业利益,权力和没有一丝的绯闻,爱情完全不在考虑中。其实崔道京甚至还没有和他的未来妻子会过面,当然,小儿时一起玩可不算!可悲的是,这个男人会像他的父母一样,进入一个冷酷无情的的婚姻。可怜的偶吧Oppa!
幸好,他醒悟得早! 偶吧Oppa发觉自己接受不了没有爱情的婚姻!在“我黄金光辉的人生”第28集中,他告诉了他震惊的父母,他不要政治婚姻,要爱情婚姻!
偶吧Oppa,做得好! 一定要为争取你想要的幸福和充满爱的人生!加油!
Photo Credits – Many thanks! KBS Drama
10 Comments
I’m watching u Dokyung r u the man who gives up everything for love ❤️ or r u the man who wants both power & love will
Dang !!! I have to wait for a century 🕰😱😱😱
We will know more this weekend 🙂
#朴施厚# #我黃金光輝的人生# 道京哥哥,你的選擇做得非常對,不要像你自己的父母一樣,進入冷漠和悲哀的婚姻生活啊!你絕對是有自由戀愛的權利。勇敢向你的所愛追求吧!我們都希望你幸福快樂,愛你所愛喲!
I’m watching u Dokyung 👀 r u the man who gives up everything for love ❤️ or r u the man who wants both power & love 🤔 will 👀👀👀
When Choi Seo-Hyun tells Seo Ji-Ho that she and her brother, Do Kyung, have already fiances , future to be husband and wife for them, chose by their parents, Seo Ji-Ho exclaims in perplexity and amazement:”What, you are in Joseon period?”. Yes, we all are in :”Shock and awe” for that kind of marriage the Choi family accepts for their children, a marriage of convenience still practiced in the modern society of the 21st century, in Korea. But to our satisfaction, at the end of episode 28 , Do Kyung has taken that drastic decision :” not to marry without love.”, as he has finally undestood that :A strong marriage requires two people who chose to love each other, even on those days , when they struggle to like each other, when they struggle to fight against all hindrances against their love.” And this we’ll watch in the next episodes of “My Golden Life”, between Do Kyung and Jian, because :”Love is not only love. It’s hard work, and trust, and tears, with even a few glimpses of devastation. But at the end of each day, if you can still look at the person at your side and can’t imagine anyone else you’d rather have there, the pain and heartache and the ups and downs of love are worth it.”[Nicole Williams]. I think this is also the message ot the scripwriter against this marriage of convenience.