korean

Wedding is an elaborate family affair as Park Sihoo’s Lee Kangsuk would know when he married Ha Dana in “Family Honor”

For those of you who have been following my blog, you will know that my favourite Park Sihoo-ssi drama is “Family Honor”.  “Family Honor” fascinated me a lot because there were so many things I learned about Korea just by watching this drama.  And of course, I learned quite a lot about Park Sihoo-ssi’s acting ability through his role as Lee Kangsuk too:)

The one area which most piqued my interest in “Family Honor” was Korean marriage rites.  There were so many facets about marriage rites I uncovered just by only focusing on the Lee Kangsuk – Ha Dana romantic story, without having to go into the rest of the clan.  

Grandfather Ha summarised what was the most important aspect of a Korean marriage – a marriage is not between the man and the woman but rather it is based on the desire of the family.  So when Lee Kangsuk and Han Dana decided that they wanted to travel the next leg of their journey together, they had to get consent from both sides of their families – and the whole family at that.  Grandparents, parents, siblings!  Goodness, we did discover that everyone had their say about this marriage that the couple had to endure so many hurdles thrown their way before everyone finally said “aye”!

Korea still practices the tradition of 선 (seon) arranged marriage or matching.  Most times, it would be the parents who make the matchmaking arrangement. The couple meet up a few times and then decide if they can go into marriage.  Lee Kangsuk’s mother was most anxious that her son finds the right woman, at least in the eyes of her and her husband. She had set her sights on her son marrying a woman from a rich and highly influential family so that their family’s social status could be elevated in the process.  She spared no expenses in getting the greedy social etiquette teacher to find suitable candidates but was sorely disappointed when Lee Kangsuk laughed off each and every candidate she put his way.  

Similarly, Ha Dana’s new mother wanted to find her a husband and tried her hands at matchmaking. Lee Kangsuk overheard her on the telephone with the match maker.  With mixed feelings, he called Ha Dana out for a dinner date and threatened her if she  dared to go on the blind date! He was after all, her “boy friend”.

“Family Honor” preparation of wedding gift box

“Family Honor” wedding rites

Park Sihoo’s Lee Kangsuk marriage rites in “Family Honor”

“Family Honor” bargaining for the bride

“Family Honor” night before gift exchange ceremony

“Family Honor” wedding is family affair

So once a couple has the family blessings and decides to get married, then there is also the rites of marriage when it comes to wedding gifts. This is so elaborate as we saw in “Family Honor”. You need deep pockets to get married in Korea! Just the gifts alone can put a big dent in your pocket! Household gifts which Ha Dana and her mother had to go shopping for Lee Kangsuk’s family. Remember the automated coffee machine which required Lee Kangsuk to just press a few buttons to make coffee? Gifts of clothing and jewelry between the bride and groom – that expensive watch for Lee Kangsuk which his mother demanded? And then the seven sets of jewelry which Han Dana received? I heard these were just the tip of the iceberg, there would also be cash gifts from the groom’s kin to the bride, gifts for an important kin of the groom, and gifts from the bride’s family to the groom’ friends…geez, can one even afford to get married in Korea?

And the most interesting?  The ritual the night before the marriage.  Remember, Lee Kangsuk and his two friends arriving at Ha Dana’s house with the wedding gift box (Hamgap)? Well, as you well know, this box is being “sold” by the groom and the bride’s family had to negotiate the price of the box to complete the pre-wedding ritual.  Of course, no negotiation can be complete without bartering, bantering and performing funny requests.  Only when both sides agreed on the “price” can the marriage bargain be sealed.  And if all else failed, use of “force” would prevail – like Ha Dana’s two brothers literally carrying the gift box and  the man into their household 😉

Park Sihoo’s Lee Kangsuk in “Family Honor” and Ha Dana in a modern style wedding

The wedding itself can be in traditional Honrye style like Ha Dana’s father and brothers’ weddings. Traditionally, the groom would travel by horse to the bride’s house and after the wedding ceremony bring his wife in a sedan chair to his parents’ house to live. The bride and groom would wear traditional court costumes for the wedding ceremony. Pairs of wooden Mandarin ducks symbolising peace, fidelity, and many offsprings would be used for the ceremony.  

In Lee Kangsuk and Ha Dana’s case, their choice was for a modern wedding, held in a wedding hall.  Weren’t they a good looking couple with him in a neat black and white tuxedo and her adorning a white wedding gown as they said “I do” in a ceremony performed by Ha Dana’s professor, in the presence of their families and close friends?

Marriage rites in Korea, a mix of the tradition and the modern.  So very complex!

I wonder, when it comes to our Park Sihoo-ssi, what will it be? Will it be an arranged or love marriage? Will she come under the scrutiny of his keen-eyed mother dearest? And will it be a traditional or modern wedding ceremony?

What would be your choice, Park Sihoo-ssi?

结婚仪式

那些一直关注我的博客的朋友会知道，在施厚君所演的韩剧中，我最喜的是“家们的荣光”。 我感觉“家门”很有趣，因为它给我更深的了解了韩国的文化和习俗。当然，通过“家门”的李江石角色，我也更欣赏施厚君的演技:)

“家门”里勾起我最大兴趣的韩国习俗就是结婚仪式。剧里的婚姻仪式，不需研究其他角色的剧情，只单单专注李江石 – 何丹雅的浪漫婚姻之路，就可以了解许多他们的习俗。

A happy family portrait in “Family Honor”

何祖父总结了韩国婚姻中最重要的一方面 – 婚姻不是男女之间的事情那么简单了结，而是基于家庭的愿望。因此，当李江石和何丹雅决定他们要一同走下辈子的旅程时，他们不得不争取双方家人的同意，而是全家的应许。祖父母，父母，兄弟姐妹！天啊！每个人都有自己对这个婚姻的说法，这对恋人不得不忍受那么多的障碍，不容易得到每个人最后说“赞成”！

韩国仍实行선（seon）传统的牵线搭桥婚姻安排。大多数时候，牵线搭桥由父母来安排。男女见过几次面后，然后决定他们是否可以进入婚姻。李江石的母亲最着急的是为她的宝贝儿子找到在她和丈夫的眼里的合适媳妇，她希望她的儿子娶一位豪门和极具影响力家庭的女儿，可以助他们一臂之力， 提高家门在名流社会的地位。她不顾金钱，要贪婪的社交礼仪老师为她找合适的人选。但是非常失望的是，她儿子特别挑剔，看出人家的毛病，没看上任何一位候选人。

同样，何丹雅的新妈妈要为她找女婿，并试图牵线搭桥安排。李江石偷听到她和媒人通电话。怀着复杂的心情，他约何丹雅吃晚饭，并以他毕竟是她的“男朋友”，威胁她敢去相亲！

“Family Honor” Korean style marriage rites

“Family Honor” the Mandarin Duck symobolism

“Family Honor” welcoming the bride

“Family Honor” symbolising a matching reunion

“Family Honor” wedding ceremony

一旦一对恋人得到家人的祝福，并决定结婚，那么也有结婚前的仪式，如结婚礼品。在“家门”我们看到这可是如此复杂的一件事。在韩国，你真的需要雄厚的资金才能结婚！只是单纯的礼品就可以让你的口袋穿个大洞！何丹雅和她的母亲不是为李家挑选家居礼品忙了一回吗？记得何丹雅嫁妆不是有个自动咖啡机吗？李江石不是得意说只需按几个按钮，就可以泡咖啡吗？还有新娘和新郎的服装和手饰礼品 – 记得李江石母亲要求一个昂贵的手表给李江石吗？还有给何丹雅的七套首饰？我听说这些只是小点滴，还会有新郎的亲戚给新娘的礼金，给新郎重要亲属的礼品，新娘的家人给新郎的朋友的礼品……天啊，在韩国要有钱才能结婚吗？

我个人觉得最有意思的是结婚的前一天晚上的仪式 － 买卖婚姻礼盒。李江石和他的两个朋友到达何丹雅的家门。一位朋友为他背了一个婚姻礼盒（Hamgap）。那么，你因该知道，仪式是新郎“卖”礼盒，新娘家人进行谈判“买”礼盒的价钱。当然，谈判不完全是金钱交易，也含戏谑和搞笑的表演要求。当双方同意“价格”才是完成婚嫁协议。如果一切都失败了，可以用“武力”占上风 – 就像何丹雅的两位大哥连人带盒的硬背入他们的家;）

Park Sihoo-ssi looking handsome in wedding gear

“Family Honor” modern wedding ceremony

“Family Honor” bride in waiting

“Family Honor” the wedding

“Family Honor” marriage rites

“Family Honor” the new Mr & Mrs Lee Kangsuk

婚礼本身可以像何丹雅的父亲和兄弟的传统Honrye婚礼风格。传统上，新郎骑着马前往新娘家，婚礼仪式后，携夫人上花轿到他父母家居住。新郎和新娘将穿着传统服饰举行婚礼仪式。仪式会有木鸳鸯象征和平，忠诚，以及许多子女。

李江石和何丹雅选择的是一个现代婚礼仪式，在婚礼礼堂举行。他们一对美丽潇洒的恋人，他穿着整洁的黑色和白色礼服和她的白色婚纱礼服，由何丹雅的教授进行婚姻仪式，他们的家人和亲密的朋友见证这完满的婚姻。

在韩国，结婚仪式可是传统与现代的结合，所以很复杂！

我不知道，施厚君结婚会如何？会是牵线搭桥婚姻安排还是爱情婚姻？她会通过他母亲的严格审查吗？而且会是一个传统或现代的婚礼？

施厚君，你会怎么样选择呢？

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